Decisions, decisions...

So I think I have chosen who I want to go with.  I have an appt on the 1st with them.  I have done a lot of research on them and the other group and like what I have found.  I am going with http://www.texasbariatricspecialists.com/ even though they are a few hours away.  Just the surgery will be in San Antonio, my followup care will be local.  I am hoping everything goes well at my appointment.

I have talked to my PCM and he is agreeable to me having the surgery, so I know that when I need the referral it won't be a problem.  I also learned that I am Glucose Intolerant.  Yet another reason to lose weight.  I am going to go on a diabetic diet until my surgery.  I have an appointment with the local diabetic nutrition meeting on base to help me.  I don't want to have it turn into actual diabetes.  

I've been researching protein shakes too.  I want to sample some and figure out which ones I like BEFORE I have the surgery so I am not having to deal with that when I am in pain.  Here is one that has really good reviews: Syntrax Necter. 

I have decided to write myself a note.  In this note I am going to write about how unhappy I am heavy.  What all I am unable to do and what all I look forward to doing when I lose weight.  I am going to remind myself that when things get rough in the first days after the surgery it is for a good reason and that I did not make a mistake.   I will use that note to remind myself how I feel now to give me motivation not to give up.

I have told my hubby I DO NOT want to be babied.  That I HAVE to get up and walk and move even if it hurts. 

I am being open about this plan.  When I tell someone I am thinking of having this surgery, I am not embarassed.  I am embarassed that I allowed myself to get this fat, but I will not be embarassed that I am getting the surgery.  I am finally doing something proactive to correct the years of  mistakes I have made. 

Weightloss surgery is NOT a cure or an easy way out, but it is a TOOL and when you use that tool correctly, you have good results.  I have decided that I WILL be a success story!  I am going to stay on the positive side on this!  I have been through 2 c-sections, 1 uterine suspension, 5 deployments and multiple field rotations.  I have raised two small children in a foreign country with my husband deployed.  I am STRONG and I can do anything I put my mind to! 

Why...

Why am I choosing to make this blog you might ask.  For one I talk a lot!  Okay you knew that.  Seriously I have a lot of thoughts on this subject and feel that by blogging it I won't have to talk to everyone about it and can get my thoughts organized.  I also want a record to look back on in the future so I can remember what this time felt like.

I also feel the more people I have along for the ride, the more people I have supporting me and the more people I have to answer to were I to fail.

I wasn't always fat

Growing up I didn't struggle with my weight at all, except 5th grade.  In 5th grade I was a little pudgy, but I quickly outgrew that stage and didn't have other issues until after I had my first son.  If you had told me 16 years ago that I would become morbidly obese, I would have laughed.  I was even a firefighter (volunteer position) for a couple years.  I was proud of how in shape I was and how strong I was.  I was 125 lbs when I got preg.  I was 20.

Then came the baby by c-section, surgery to repair damage by baby, then excuses, excuses, excuses....
I lost a bunch (around 40-50 lbs) of the weight when Kris was 2.  Didn't stay off long before I started gaining it back.  Lost about 28 in 1999 just by giving up sodas.  Then I got preg. again.  New baby, c-section, excuses, excuses excuses.  Moved to Germany in 2001.  There came Germany chocolate and pastries.  Yummy.  More pounds packed on.  Husband deployed=weight gain X 5 deployments and multiple field exercise= one big unhappy Robin.  I then fell down a flight of stairs, broke my tailbone, injured my hip and back.  From there came more excuses.  It became too painful to walk let alone exercise.  Just got bigger and bigger.

I tried weight loss diets.  Did slim fast (found out I have lactose problems).  Atkins caused a 'backup' in my plumbing ;).  Counting calories didn't work for me.  I don't eat enough most days and had to force myself to eat enough calories.  I gained weight by not eating enough and not making the right choices when I do.  I have tried to just limit portions the last few months and have started working again and have lost 10 lbs since April.  I have over 120 more to go.

I am not trying to make more excuses.  I know the fault is mine.  I didn't "catch a virus and get fat".  I got fat because I didn't take care of myself and what I ate. 

First steps

Called today to set up initial visit.  Have to see what my schedule is like for next week before I set the appointment.  They will set me up with a patient advocate and stuff so that I am helped along all the steps to come.  There is also an online support group and a group that meets in Austin.  The surgery would be in San Antonio if I go with this group.  There is another group in Temple at Scott and White so I will have to decide on which one I want to use soon.


Here is the San Antonio Website.  I would only have to go to SA for the surgery, the rest would be here in town.

I don't know the website for the Temple one.  My neighbor had her G.B. with them a couple months ago and recomends them.

Still have more research to do before deciding.  This is not something I am taking lightly.  I have been thinking/researching for sometime and know that it is a serious surgery with risks involved.  There are risks involved in staying morbidly obese too.  Brian and I have been discussing the risks and benefits also and I have talked with the boys about it too.  While it is my body and ultimately my decision, I want us all on board for this journey.  I will be depending on them a lot in the beginning.  Thankfully I am married to a wonderful man who I know will support me and have great kids.

Recycle me!

I love the idea of recycling.  Take someone old and worn out and redo it so that it is new again.  Well, my body needs to be recycled.  Underneath this tired and aching frame is a new me just waiting to get out.

I am researching and looking towards having a gastric bypass and I wanted to journal my journey and I invite you along for the ride.  It's always good to have a friend along.